so... here we are. me, another author of another blog, and you, another reader on another computer. whether or not you choose to take interest in my life is up to you and if you don't like it, you don't have to read....
i suppose, i should start off with introductions, then. I am J.H. Nguyen (pronounced 'win', but different people from different parts pronounce it differently). I am young, and I admit to making stupid mistakes, but that does not make me an idiot in the ways of the world. I have traveled all over the world and I have seen starvation, disease, the destitute, the desperate, the rich, the unfortunate, and the content. I am no stranger to the affects of war, even though I have never been in one directly. Many members of my family have fought for our country and I can honestly say that I shall always be proud to call them my family. I have yet to get a job, but it will have to wait until I finish with the part of my education that is required by law. The rest shall remain a mystery until I find it sufficiant to disclose to you, dearest reader.
at this point in my lfe, i am slightly.. unstable. i have a self-image problem (though were you to meet me in reality, you would never be able to tell), and i am scared of the future. it's not war or economic downturn, or even the possibility of the world ending. i am afraid of growing up. at the precipeice of adulthood and there is so much that i need to do. move out from my parent's house, get a job, get a life. and what's more is that i am not entirely sure of what i should do. i love to paint, but there isn't much money there. i had thought, for awhile, that i would like to become a chief, but then i realized that even though i like to cook, i don't love it so much as to do it for the rest of my life. i love reptiles of all kinds, and the field of herpetology is one that i take great interest in. however, it is a lot of schooling, and it is such a narrow field of research that the chances of me getting the career i would like is slim to none... well, that and i's feel as though i were living out my oldest sister's dreams (she wanted to be a vet). in all truth i am an english major, but i have absolutley no desire to teach whatsoever (mostly due to my mother.... she is a college professor and somplains endlessly about her students). so where does that leave me?
all points of life going on aside, i am left with my.. somewhat psycological problem. i suppose it isn't so bad if i can recognize that i have issues. for instance, ever since i was young, i have hated myself. i've hated that i can still smile, i hate how i look, and i hate the way i am... i could always blame it on the fact that when i was very small, my biological father left my mother and i, and that has been what has stuck the self-hate/blame into my psyche. it could very well be that i have some little chemical imbalance that could be cured with a pill and that would be that.. i don't know. so, i put a mask on everyday, a smile for everyone and a hug for all my friends. ah.. but here i am going on and on, boring you, aren't i? very well, i stop while i am still ahead, and leave my rants for another day. good night.
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